Ever get those pesky midnight cravings for something salty, sweet, or fatty? But who wants to drag themselves out of bed and trudge over to the nearest fast food joint to get their fix? Well, maybe you don’t have to. Some of the most closely guarded secrets of the food industry are, well, no longer secrets. Now, anyone can make a close approximation to their favorite food products at home. When those pesky cravings set in, the farthest you have to go is your own kitchen.

McDonald’s Big Mac

The Big Mac is the quintessential fast food burger. Big, beefy, saucy, mouthwatering—it’s the sandwich all other sandwiches aspire to be. The only problem? Your mileage may vary from restaurant to restaurant. To guarantee a perfect burger every time, you’ll just need to make it yourself.

Ingredients for Sauce

1/4 cup Miracle Whip, 1/4 cup mayonnaise, 2 tablespoons french salad dressing, 1/2 tablespoon sweet relish, 2 teaspooons dill pickle relish, 1 teaspoon sugar, 1 teaspoon dried, minced onion, 1 teaspoon white vinegar, 1 teaspoon ketchup, 1/8 teaspoon salt

Ingredients for Burger

1 regular sized sesame seed bun, 1 regular sized plain bun, 2 beef patties (2 ounces each flattened to bun size), 2 tablespoons Big Mac sauce, 2 teaspoons reconstituted onions, 1 slice real American cheese, 2 hamburger pickle slices1/4 cup shredded lettuce

Preparation

To make the sauce, mix together all ingredients and refrigerate for about an hour.

To assemble the burger, cook the two beef patties just like regular burgers. Discard the top half of the plain bun, retaining the heel. This will be the middle bun. Toast both sides of the middle bun, then toast the undersides of the sesame bun.

After the buns are toasted, put one tablespoon of sauce on each of the heels. Then add 1/8 cup shredded lettuce to each. On the sesame bottom bun, place one thin slice of American cheese on top of the lettuce. On the the middle bun, place two pickle slices on top of the lettuce. When the meat patties are done, place them one at a time on both prepared buns. Stack the middle bun on top of the bottom bun, and put the crown on top.


Coca-Cola

Coca-Cola is one of the most recognizable brands in the world. From the U.S. to Mexico, to China, India, and Japan – the sweet, bubbly beverage is beloved worldwide. Unfortunately, it’s pretty hard to duplicate the recipe yourself. This is because one of its principle ingredients, the coca leaf, is highly illegal to import. In fact, the Coca-Cola company is the only company in the United States authorized to import the leaves.

As you may have surmised, coca leaves are a crucial ingredient in another recipe: cocaine. The modern day incarnation of the beverage no longer contains significant amounts of it, but it still relies on those leaves for flavor.

We’ll give you the recipe anyway, in the off chance you have all the ingredients needed. You’ll notice the process of making Coke more closely resembles a laboratory experiment than a recipe.

Ingredients:

Sugar (2.4 kg), Caramel (37 grams), Caffeine Powder (3.1 grams), Phosphoric Acid (11 Grams), Coca Leaves, Kola Nuts, Lime Juice, Alcoholic Beverage with 20% ABV, Alcoholic Beverage with 95% ABV, Lemon oil, Orange oil, Cinnamon oil, Nutmeg oil, Vanilla extract (1.5 grams)

Preparation:

1. First, mix 2,400 grams of sugar with just enough water to needed to dissolve it. You’ll want to create a thick, syrup-like concoction.

2. Now add 37 grams of caramel, 3.1 grams of caffeine, and 11 grams of phosphoric acid.

3. Extract the cocaine from the coca leaves and dry it. You can use toluol for the extraction. This is purely hypothetical, because no matter how much you try and convince them, it’s doubtful the police will believe you were only extracting the cocaine to make home-made cola.

4. Powder the coca leaves and kola nuts. Soak them in 22 grams of 20 percent alcohol. California white wine fortified to 20 percent strength was used as the soaking solution in the early 1900’s, but Coca-Cola may have switched to a simpler water and alcohol mixture.

5. After soaking, discard the coca and kola powder and combine the liquid with the sugary syrup you made earlier.

6. Add 30 grams of lime juice.

7. Mix together 0.88 grams of lemon oil, 0.47 grams of orange oil, 0.20 grams of cinnamon oil, and 0.07 gram of nutmeg oil. Add to 4.9 grams of 95 percent alcohol.

8. Shake well.

9. Add 2.7 grams of water to the alcohol/oil mixture and let stand for twenty-four hours at about 60 °F (15.5 °C). Soon, a cloudy layer will separate.

10. Skim off the clear part of the liquid only and add the syrup.

11. Add 19 grams of glycerine and 1.5 grams of vanilla extract.

12. Add water to make 1 gallon of syrup.

13. Carbonate.

Topics: food , Inspirational , Cooking , food
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